are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize