So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
