walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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