I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
