i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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