Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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