i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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