you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
