Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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