it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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