So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
