I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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