I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
