Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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