i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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