your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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