The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
