Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
