i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
