i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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