Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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