Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
