I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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