Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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