wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
