I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
