I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
