You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
