and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
