we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
