I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
