why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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