If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I cut my penus on the lid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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