Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
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I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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