No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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