Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
