My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
