nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Man, jail baloney is awful.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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