Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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