did you get engaged???
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need moral support for this bender
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
