Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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