So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
