There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
