Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
