She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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