Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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