Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
