That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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