The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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