i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
