Nicole vs. Life
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
