I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
