We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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