Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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