Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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