i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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