i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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